Love

After I left Corn’s house, I decided I’d give the love of my life a call. Anna Lisa Kristina. Chubby cheeks for days. Waterfall bangs that covered her crescent eyes. Heart-shaped lips. And those crazy sexy black rimmed spectacles.

Ring, ring, ring.

“Hello?” Came her voice through the phone.

“Hi! May I please speak to Anna Lisa Kristina?” I asked.

“Oh. Hey, Dumb. Long time no speak.” She said. I could tell she was smirking.

“Hello Kris.” I said. “How’s the weather?”

“It’s fine. Sunny. San Gabriel-ey.” She said. “How’s yours?”

“Hot as fuck. It’s so hot my sweat is sweating.”

“You’re stupid.” She giggled. It was fantastic to hear her voice.

“How’s school?” I asked, giggling myself, for my own reasons.

“Tough as fuck.” She said. “I don’t know why I decided to get a full load. On top of that, I got the part-time at the mall. How the fuck am I gonna get through this semester?”

“Same as always. You’ll complain about it to me, I’ll tell you a joke, and then your overwhelming appreciation will carry you through.”

“Whatever, Dumb.” She giggled again. It was good to know I could always do that for her.

“Say,” She said. “How’s the job hunting going?”

“Well, I kind of got a job.”

“What do you mean ‘kind of’?”

See, Anna Lisa Kristina had a thing for me. She kind of liked me. Actually, she loved me. She said it herself. I’m not making this up at all. We were actually in love with each other. But, at an early age, an early stage in our lives together, we realized, love wasn’t the only thing that could make a relationship work.

For Anna Lisa Kristina, it was having a job. Now don’t get her wrong. It had nothing to do with wealth or anything like that. It had nothing to do with diamonds, yachts, butlers, or mansions. It had more to do with stability and comfort. She didn’t want to live a life of stressing over how to pay next months rent or partitioning a box of cereal over the course of six months. She always wanted to know she had a roof over her head and food in the fridge. That was the way she was. That’s why she worked so hard at school and why she worked so hard at her part-time. In fact, if there were more hours in a day, she probably would’ve got three full-time jobs just to make sure. She was a careful one, she was.

But I wasn’t like that. And that’s why she found a better boyfriend.

“Well, I kind of got a job.” I repeated. “I joined a theatre company.”

“What the hell?” She said, surprised. “Theatre? You’re an actor now?”

“Well, not really an actor. I perform.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I don’t know. I guess actors pretend to be other people. Performers are themselves. I’m a performer.”

“So you get paid to stand in front of people and be who you are?”

“Not exactly. I don’t get paid.”

“Well how is that ‘kind of’ a job, Dumb?”

“Well, I guess it’s not.”

And then there was silence. I could hear her heavy sighing. It sounded a lot like her thousands of other disappointed sighs. The same sighs that took her further and further away from me.

“I wish you would take life more serious.” She said.

“I do.” I replied. “Certain parts of life.”

“Like what?” She demanded to know. “Like doing something and not getting paid for it?”

“I’ll eventually get paid. Who knows? I might become some big performer. This theatre company is pretty good. I like what they do. They tell simple, real life, stories. Stories that people could really get into.”

“And you think people will pay you for that?”

“Maybe.”

“Dumb, you can be so dumb sometimes.”

And then there was silence again.

“Look, Kris. you may not understand now, but, I hope, eventually you will.” I explained. “I can see something with this. I can see somethign big happening. Something that can change the world.”

“Oh, here we go again!” She said, exasperated. “Saving the world bullshit!”

“Kris, it’s not bullshit.” I said. “It’s what I believe can happen if people tried more.”

“Oh God…” She sighed.

“Sorry, Kris.” I said, slightly annoyed. “I’m not Duncan. I’m me.”

“Don’t bring Duncan into this conversation!” She yelled.

“Why are you yelling?” I started yelling. “That’s what this is all about isn’t it? That I’m not like him?”

“Actually, you’re right. you two are nothing alike. And that’s the exact reason why I’m with him and not someone like you!”

That hit my heart hard. I was angry.

“You’re a bitch!” I seethed. “I hope he breaks your heart again!”

“You’re an asshole!” She said heated. “I hope your dick falls off!”

We stopped talking. Nothing could be heard except the heavy, angry, breathing coming from each end of the phone. For minutes it was like that.

“Well, I’m gonna go now.” She said, half way to hanging up.

“Wait, Kris…” I said. I broke. I didn’t want to end it like that. “Wait…”

She waited.

“Look, I’m sorry.” I apologized. “I know you’re worried about me. I know you want me to be safe. And I know you have your ideas on how I can be that way. But, Kris, I have my own ideas, too. And I want to see if they work or not. I have a gut feeling this’ll work out for me. And I hope I’m right. Because if I am, I’ll finally be happy. Don’t you want me to be happy?”

“Wait a minute.” She interrupted. “When did you join that theatre company?”

“Uh…about a year ago.” I gulped.

“A year ago?!?!?” She screamed. “A whole year passed and you wait to tell me now?!?!”

“I – I – know, – but…”I stammered. “But – I wanted to see – if it was going to work – out…”

She slammed her phone down and hung up on me.

Fuck…