Audition, I Think

I walked out on the stage. It was black. There was a spotlight that, I assumed, was where I was supposed to stand. So I stood inside of it. Felt pretty warm. I squinted. Tried looking out at the seats but couldn’t see anything.

“Hello?” I said. My voice echoed throughout the theatre. The acoustics were pretty good.

“Hello there.” Came a male voice from the audience seats. Deep. It seemed to come from his gut. Authoritative. But a little vulnerable. “So what’s your name?”

“Uh…” I said, shading my eyes with my hands. “My name is Xavier De Los Santos.”

“Put your hand down.” He said, strongly. “We need to see your face.”

“Oh. Okay.” I put my hand down. And waited for another question. None came. For a whole twenty seconds.

“So…” I said, looking around, noticing the ropes, the thick curtains, the sand bags. “This is a theatre, huh? Never been in one.”

“So you don’t have any experience?” Asked the voice.

“Nope.” I said, wondering if that was a bad thing. “Is that a bad thing?”

There wasn’t a response.

“Okay.” I said, furrowing my eyebrows. “I guess it is.” And took a step out of the spotlight.

“Wait, Xavier.” Came a female voice. Melodic. Strong. Made me want to listen. “It’s not a bad thing.”

“No. Not a bad thing at all.” Said the male voice. “In fact, it’s a good thing.”

“Oh. Okay.” I said, stepping back into the spotlight, remember not to cover my face. “That’s cool.”

They were whispering to each other. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I stood there. Waitign to see what would happen next.

“So, Xavier.” said the male voice. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Green.” I said, immediately.

“Why?” asked the female voice.

“Because it reminds me of the forest. Front lawns. Parks. Ya know. Nature shit.” I said, then quickly covered my mouth. “Oh, sorry. Can I cuss?”

I heard them both laugh. “Sure you can cuss.” Said the male voice, a little more friendly.

“Good.” I said, relieved. “Because I just did.”

They laughed again.

“What do you like to do?” Asked the male voice.

“I like playing video-games. Reading comic books. Playing Dungeons & Dragons.” I said. “Ya know. The regular ‘cool guy’ things.”

They laughed again. Longer. I hoped that was a good thing.

“You’re funny.” Came the female voice.

“Thanks.” I said. “It’s genetic.”

And they laughed again. I relaxed a little. This seemed to be going great. I wondered, though, what did any of my answers have to do with theatre?

“Hey, guys.” I said, taking a step forward, feeling the need to explain myself a little more. “Just to reiterate, I’ve never done something like this before. I don’t know if this is how it’s supposed to go down. Is this how people audition?”

“For us, yes.” Said the male voice.

“We’re a little different than the typical theatre group.” Said the female voice.

“Oh Okay.” I said. “I just wanted to clear that up.”

There was a silence.

“So…”I began. “Anything else you want to know?”

“Anything you want to tell us?” asked the male voice.

I thought about it. Put my pointer finger to my lips. Thought some more.

“Well,” I said. “I just broke up with my girlfriend. She was nice. But I don’t think we were meant for each other. So I guess it was a good thing. I never graduated high school. Don’t know if that’ll effect anything here today. Just letting you know, because I don’t know if you need a diploma to do theatre. My parents are divorced. They don’t really talk to each other. I have a younger sister named Edna. She acts like she hates me but she loves the hell out of me. I can tell. Hmmm…let’s see…what else. Oh yeah. Here’s something that you might find interesting. I think I know who my soul mate is. But she doesn’t love me back. Her name is Anna Lisa Kristina. She’s studying to become a nurse. I don’t know…maybe one day we’ll get married and have triplet daughters and name them Wish, Smile, and Infinity, or some hippie shit like that. Or maybe not. Maybe we’ll just be friends forever and I’ll have to give her half of my love because I’m sure it would feel weird for her knowing that I’d want to kiss her. Or maybe we won’t be friends at all. Maybe we’ll go live our lives separately, not even remembering who the other was. Who knows. All I know, right now, is that she is my soul mate. And even if we never spoke to each other from this moment until the day I die, she will always be the love of my life.” At this point, my hands got so animated, the dust from the stage was flying around me like floating stars. I reached for one. And caught it. Looked at it in my hand. And said, “I think that about covers it.”

The lights shot on. All of them. In the audience, on stage, backstage. I blinked to get accustomed. Sitting in the audience were about twenty or so people. All smiling at me. I scratched my head. Said, “Hello. Didn’t know there was so many people watching.”

“Hello, Xavier!” whistled the female voice. She was much closer to me. I turned to my left and saw two people walking towards me. A man and a woman.

She was dressed in baggy blue jeans. Big, shiny, blue shoes. She was skinny and pale. Her straight, orange hair was slicked back. She had an under-bite. Or maybe just an under-bite when she smiled. Because she was smiling really, really big. “My name is Jaycie! Jaycie Akemi! It’s nice to meet you!” She shook my hand. She was strong.

The man walked up behind her. He had a slow walk to him. Dark hair. Black sweater. Blue jeans. Sad eyes. He smiled, too, but it seemed weak. Not that the smile was weak. But his whole stance seemed weak. I almost felt sorry for him. “Hi.” He said, raising his hand to shake mine. “My name is Tom Tokugawa. I’m the director of the Grains of Rice Theatre Company.” He was so different from what I thought he’d be just by listening to his voice in the dark.

I shook his hand. They were soft. Like they never worked a day in their hand-lives.

“Nice to meet you both.” I said looking into his sad, vulnerable eyes. “The director, huh. So I guess that makes you the assistant director, Jaycie?”

They looked at each other almost uncomfortably. “No.” She said, sternly. “I’m just here to support.”

I looked at her. I looked at him. I looked at her. I looked at him.

“That’s cool.” I said. “Who are they?” I pointed to the twenty or so people sitting in the audience, still smiling.

“That, Xavier, is the Grains of Rice Theatre Company.” Tom said, instantly changing that weak, vulnerable, persona and replacing it with the dominance he had in the dark. “We’d like for you to join us in our rehearsal this afternoon.”

I looked at her. She was smiling big. Under-bite almost swallowing the rest of her face. Her eyes were truly supportive. I felt calm around her. “Sure.” I said. “I got no plans.”

“Grains of Rice!” Tom said, loudly, authoritatively. “Assemble on stage!” And his voice boomed across the theatre. The twnety people sitting in the audience, literally, jumped out of their seats and ran up to the stage.

Jaycie placed her hand on my shoulder. She smiled. Made sure I looked her in the eyes. “You’re going to do wonderful!” Somehow, for some reason, I believed her.

And that was my audition. I guess I passed.